Monday, April 25, 2011
Everyone Has Worth
Throughout our history, humans have battled or threatened others in pursuit of food, water, shelter and power. The survival of a race, an economic way of life, or position of power can compel us to kill, demonize, and victimize others to keep what we believe we are entitled to control. Our need to fight arises from the perception that resources are limited, and a core belief that if one person is worthy of those resources, then another is not.
Who would you place on your list of history’s “worst people”? For many Americans living today, Adolf Hitler or Osama Bin Laden may come to mind. Native Americans might recall people who took their land by force and placed them on reservations. For some retirees, or people who will never be able to retire, the worst people are corporate executives who embezzled billions of dollars, dissolving employee pensions and retirement savings.
It could be a rapist, a murderer, an abuser, or a traitor. How could any of these people be considered worthy of anything except the punishment of their crime? Based on destructive behaviors and actions, it may be hard to resolve that, no matter what, everyone, without exception, has value and worth.
But if we believe our worth is intrinsic, simply because we exist, then worth must be granted to everyone, regardless of behavior or flaws. Our existence-- not our actions--dictates our worth.
When we lack a sense of self-worth, we are unable to see it in others. Therefore, our behaviors and actions can become destructive. Something or someone without worth or value becomes disposable. If we all had self-worth and valued the worth of others, we wouldn’t engage in war and genocide.
Monday, April 18, 2011
After Chaz Wesley and I returned from the Surrender Adventure last year, I noticed the incredible open space that had become my life. It was new and unfamiliar. I looked around at my home, my furniture, my clothes and it was as though I had walked into a world that was mine but I had never been there.
Each chair I sat down in was for the first time. And when I sat in significant places I had to rearrange my body to a more comfortable position. It was not the same person sitting in the chair. The first correspondence I had with my significant other, I waited quietly to hear how his voice would sound. I wondered what he would say and never thought about how I would reply. Then he said the things he's said before, but this time it sounded like all the things you'd ever want your lover to say to you..."I support you 110%." "It' your time." on and on it went, and I fell in love all over again.
When Chaz talks about being in your business and getting back to your business, in this stage of noticing your thoughts as CEO of your business you get to choose what thoughts get fired. Clearing space, gaining clarity, opening the mind. Good CEO's will notice first and act later. This is when the real noticing begins.
I noticed my speech and demeanor were more assured. Rev. Chris Michaels of CSLKC said he noticed that my walk had changed and Rev. Jarie said she noticed a new swagger in my step. My voice got incredibly stronger and I started singing in ways I had not tried before. Bending more notes finding new ways to sing phrases of the songs I've written and performed.
In the song I wrote called Everyday there is a line that says, "I've been seeking the peace that washes over me, takes me completely." This is the feeling I have, bathed in peace and bathed in surrender.
We came home from the adventure July 21st 2010. I visited Chaz the next month in Tulsa. Sitting on my spot of the couch (Yes like the guy in Big Bang), I shared with him the new visions I was having. He reminded me that my job is very simple. My job, my business is to be worthy. I simply hold it out and let the passion the, juiciness and vibrant nature of my being pour out. He also reminded me that I am not alone and that others stand behind and with me to love and support me in doing a very simple job.
In that moment, I actually felt files of thoughts deleting from my consciousness and tears of that peace began to flow.
"It's All About YOU! Begins May 3rd. Every Tuesday in May 6pm to 7:30pm to register go to www.bukeka.com. Also visit my friend Chaz Wesley at www.chazwesley.com
Friday, April 15, 2011
You now have three weeks to prepare for Mother's Day. You may be preparing for or possibly bracing yourself for the experience of remembering the life of your mother. Last week, I sang for a memorial service for a mother of three and Grandmother of one. Her daughter is a very bright and progressive woman who I have had the privilege of connecting with named Jenny.
I am very happy that I can still have lunch or dinner with my mother. Many of us call my mother "Just Joan" or "OhtheJoan" fondly after my web person "Ohthebill" Rosen. My mother is clearly worthy of the titles as well as the audaciousness that comes along with them. I say this in the most complimentary way.
My mother Joan, is sweet, funny, tremendously caring and my possible ticket to having the next best reality TV show. During my surrender adventure with my cohort Chaz Wesley, I did release work around my mother and the feelings one has when loving someone who does have an opinion and will share it with you most of the time. .
What I came to realize is that whatever story my mother chooses to have or whatever memory she chooses to never let go of, she too is worthy of having it, if that's what she wants. In my childhood I wrote poems and stories about my wonderful mother. As an adult I found myself in a place of judgment about what she should be feeling or not, and asking myself "why is she making me feel this way?"
As much as I had come to understand about thoughts feelings, emotions and beliefs, I had a "mom-block". It's called "If it's not one thing it's your mother." But then it all came down to worthiness. Her worthiness, my worthiness, we all matter and have value regardless of how we display ourselves.
So if you are experiencing anything around the concepts of self-worth and mothers, take this moment to breath, allow, love yourself and know your worth.
"It's All About YOU! in Kansas City. Beginning 5/3/11. To register see www.Bukeka.com.