Visiting Stanford University Campus after nearly 40's later

Our old backyard on Stanford's campus

Excerpt from my book: I Am Worthy of Love Simply Because I Exist.

"Our family moved from Michigan so my father could attend Stanford University to obtain his doctorate in Sociology. We drove a yellow Plymouth from Detroit to Palo Alto, California. My father could count on me asking him 'are we there yet?' a million times. He would turn on the radio and I would start singing, 'Natural Woman' by Aretha Frankin. 'Betcha by Golly Wow' by the Stylistics. He would eventually ask me to try and refrain from singing the lead vocal and try the background vocals instead. I did this with as much abandon as I did the lead. I'm sure my father could not get us to California fast enough.

Though the 60's Civil Rights Movement was coming to a close, the 70's were just as explosive. The granddaugher of San Francisco publishing magnate William Randolf Hearst was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army. The Black Panther Party formulated in Oakland and they began the Black Liberation Movement. Peaceful protests were replaced with "by any means necessary". Gloria Steinem was leading the Woman's Movement and rumor was growing that feminists were burning their bras. Unrest was growing in the country once again and it seemed to all be happening right in my back yard. These movements were about people proclaiming their worth. They wanted validation and to belong. People were angry with the status quo and they were willing to fight it to get what they wanted."

 Backyard playground at Stanford's Housing called Escondido Village

Building I almost lost my sister in when she was 4 years old on Stanford's campus. Got in big trouble that day.

Quote from Greg Baer author of Real Love

"It's difficult to have a relationship with a victim, because victims see everyone else in the world as doing things to them or for them. They see people as objects that will either make them happy or hurt them. As a result, they can't have relationships at all, because you can't have a relationship with an object."

 

When I first read this, it really struck me because it is so much how we operate in relationship. As soon as we do not receive what we think we ought to from someone else we move into a victim consciousness. We make others responsible for our happiness. When they don't live up to what we believe they SHOULD do, we make them wrong and we make ourselves victims. 

 

This cycle of "victimhood" gets passed down to our children, which completely dis-empowers them. They grow up learning that anything they need must come from outside sources and they have no control or responsibility for their happiness. It causes us to loose friends and loved one who have grown weary of always being on the hook for our pain. 

 

What if I told you that your only responsibility in life is to live in joy but that your joy comes from within you and nowhere else? What would you say to the idea that your business plan is to feel good and your business expansion is to feel better. My friend Chaz Wesley introduced me to this concept, and I have enjoyed living from this place ever since. 

Because of it, I accomplish more because I am happy doing what I am doing. I feel a greater since of passion because as good as I feel now, my JOB is to feel even better. I can hear it in my voice when I talk to friends, clients and loved ones and they tend to respond in like. 

 

It comes through in my email communication and even my text messages. From there I begin to attract more good in my life. I feel better than ever and then I get to practice feeling even better than that. 

 

From this place I cannot be a victim. I take full responsibility for my joy and happiness.